I’m an anxious person. There has never, and I don’t think there ever will be a day where my heart doesn’t beat a little too fast in response to something or I don’t freeze for a couple of seconds in worry. Now, people have said (I have realised) that sometimes it’s useful to talk about these things that worry you. It’s especially helpful when you don’t need to reply to someone asap (aka online) but can take time to think about your responses and answer thoughtfully. So here we are:
Pssst. This post was inspired by http://www.nettleandblackberry.com/heres-what-im-worrying-about-right-now/
Starting to Vlog
I’ve been posting a lot about this on social media, and I really want to vlog but all of the videos that I make are really shitty. My YouTube channel has been around for 2+ years now, but it barely has any videos on it. Because I delete them all. I just get so cringed out when I watch my videos back, that I feel as though I won’t ever be able to actually make any good videos. They seem good at the time, but the longer that I look at them, the worse that they become. I worry that this is going to be a continuous cycle of never being satisfied *deep sigh*
Yeah, ironically I’m talking about this in a blog post. First, we have to understand my motivation. I really love writing, but I also kind of want to turn this into a job? Or I want to turn freelance writing into a job, while I attend university. I know that sounds kind of idealistic, but I’m trying super hard! The problem is, I’m trying too hard. This happened with YouTube as well. I’m spending money on web hosting, photographers and a shit ton of other things, for a very slow turnout.
I know that with time, comes progress but it’s hard waiting when you’ve been working so hard for so long! Not seeing results is a little disheartening, not going to lie, and it made me hate YouTube (aside from the crappy videos). I only hope that doesn’t happen to me and blogging but I worry that it might one day.
The Guy Who Walked Into Me (this probably doesn’t apply to you)
Hold on. You might be wondering about why I’m worrying about something that another person did to ME, and you would be correct in being a little bit confused. Well, it goes like this. A boy, with his back turned to me, smashes into me and we both kind of trip over. He holds his hands out in an apology and apologises profusely while I…walk away laughing. I didn’t even acknowledge him. Which meant that he and his friends were left staring at my back while I acted like nothing happened. What the actual hell.
And he seemed so genuine too! I did say sorry when we first bumped into each other, but he didn’t hear me – so basically I seem a little, uh, moronic? Now I’m embarrassed to pass by him in the halls. Honestly, I don’t know why I worry about this but who knows how the human mind works. Not me, I’m only just getting a pass in biology.
What Are You Worrying About? Let Me Know In The Comments and We Can Chat About It!